I just finished reading an excellent piece in the NYT on the current overall state of marriage.  I'm also currently trying to finish this post as my wife would like me to get off the computer and spend time with her!

The quick takeaways for me are:

• Marriage has changed: we expect more out of the marriage and our mates than previous generations

• Marriage takes time: those able to spend more time on their marriage get more out of it, those who spend less get less enjoyment or end up divorced

• Marriage is unequal: those with more resources (i.e. rich) are more likely to stay together than those with less resources (i.e. poor).  

The resulting inequality marriage success rates reflect the broader inequality in our society.  The rich get richer (and stay married) while the poor get poorer (and get divorced).

What ways can we better support our marriages?  How can our livelihoods (i.e. jobs) support our spouses?  Will companies recognize that a healthy marriage makes for better (i.e. more productive) employees?

Marriage is hard work.  It is not all that is cracked up to be.  And yet don't those who choose to get married be given every opportunity and support to succeed?

I think so.

American hubris, here we go again.

In the wake of the Ukrainian uprising, there have been no shortage of Western opinions on how the U.S. should intervene or what the Ukranians should do.

Perhaps the best discussion I've heard was on my primary (and highly recommended) news source, Democracy Now!  

And perhaps the most general advice about possible American involvement in other country's affairs came at the end of this Thomas Friedman piece, "Don't Just Do Something. Sit There.":

To summarize/paraphrase Friedman:

1. We understand little of other country's complexities
2. We may be able to stop bad things from happening, but only at considerable cost
3. Trying to make good things happen replaces self-empowerment of the people

These points are powerful reminders to be cautious in finding solutions to others' problems, both as individuals and as a nation.

For the second year in a row, Emily participated in a V-day (Valentine's or Vagina, take your pick) event to celebrate women's bodies and bring attention to the abuse women suffer from around the world.

Last year we were in Ann Arbor on the Diag at the University of Michigan.  This year we were at the Kaua'i Community College of the University of Hawaii.

The choreographed dance was beautifully done, and ends with hands raised before they slowly lower and point right at you, the audience, to remind us that we all have a duty to stand up and defend women's rights.  

A powerful yet celebratory message.  You can listen to the amazing song, "Break The Chain," they danced to below.

One billion rising indeed.

I am about to finish book two of George R. R. Martin's epic fantasy A Song of Ice and Fire, known as A Game of Thrones on HBO, the name of the first book in what is to be a seven-book series . . . kind of like Harry Potter, but rated R, if not NC-17.

Each chapter in the books is written from the vantage point of a particular character.  The reader returns to these characters throughout the book, but do not be fooled into thinking any character, and I mean ANY character, is safe or central enough to the plot that s/he won't be killed off.  In fact, as I was told before even diving into the series, if you like a character, that character will probably die and perhaps in a quite horrific death.  Hence, I think I will now start referring to the series as "A Game of Bones."

In light of the fact there is no main character and any protagonist could and does die, the question must be asked, Why read this series?  There are a number of reasons, including:

• an epic fantasy world that rivals if not surpasses Tolkien's Middle Earth in its scope and ancient lore (if not languages)
  
• an adult version of Harry Potter with all of the sex, gore, greed and politics one would expect of adults (I'll also add the scene descriptions do not go on forever like Tolkien nor do the descriptions of food and merriment, like Brian Jacques' Redwall series.)
• an interesting postmodern account where each person's limited perspective often only gives the reader pieces to put together of what is happening
• magic plays a periphery part; the story is more about compelling characters caught up in world-changing events.  But don't be fooled: there is magic, to be sure.

All of these reasons coupled with good writing make for an entertaining treat.  Listening to it on audiobook with Roy Dotrice's world record-breaking voices makes it even better, especially with all of the driving and WOOFing I've been doing lately.  

That said, I'm compelled to continue and complete the series (once the final two books are finished) not simply to find out how it all ends, but because I think Martin is onto something grandeur than we readers - much less our characters - can foresee.  Looking at the titles of the books so far:

1. A Game of Thrones
   
2. A Clash of Kings
   
3. A Storm of Swords
   
4. A Feast for Crows
   
5. A Dance of Dragons
   
6. The Winds of Winter (planned)
   
7. A Dream of Spring (planned; formerly A Time for Wolves)
   

Now I've only read through Book Two, but looking at these titles and considering the series' overall title, A Song of Ice and Fire, I think Martin is peeling back the layers one by one.  Without giving away too much, there seems to be icy threats from the north and fire-y threats from the south/west that come into larger and larger play as the course of events move on.  People are focused largely on a throne in the Seven Kingdoms, but the world is a much larger place than any of them realize.  Events are beyond their control.  They scheme, they fight, they create, they destroy, they live, they die.  They do what they will in a world that seems almost indifferent to them at times.  And ultimately their purpose in life plays a much smaller and different role than they had expected.  Catastrophic chance as well as cold calculation constantly collide, and some survive while others die.  Nothing is for certain, not even the change in seasons.  The story is ruthless, painful, threatens to undue all kinds of meaning or storytelling (at least in the traditional sense).  And yet it is captivating all the same, because, arguably, it is more "real" than most fiction in how it portrays the whims and wills of life with all of its meaning and mystery.  

More writers have been brought in to help finish the series. The added scenes in the television series flesh out the characters and add tantalizing revelations that our limited narrated view does not see or reveal in the books.  Martin wants to write other tales within the Song of Ice and Fire universe.  I'm impressed so far with his Magnum Opus.  The challenge will be to continue to care about characters whose fate and fortune are so very mortal at times, even as their lives soar on the winds of the majestic and the mundane.

It is the new year, and with it come all of the end-of-year summations, highlights and stories.  I was amused if not horrified to read that even less Republicans believe in evolution compared to four years ago, down to 43%.  

After reading the classics Robert Putnam's Bowling Alone and Sam Harris' The End of Faith, I wonder if people identify their religious beliefs not on scientific reasoning but community connections.  Our increased individualistic society is only made worse by internet companies that keep us in what Eli Pariser calls a Filter Bubble.  Yet finding common cause on the internet can create and support shared common values, of the religious or areligious type.

Community is key to believing.  We are influenced by those around us and the sites we visit.  Diversity is important not only to 'keep things interesting,' but also to ensure we do not become stagnant in our beliefs.  If we want to share our beliefs, be they secular or spiritual, it is better to do so through relationship rather than pure reason.

Next week I will be in North Carolina, visiting friends from Davidson College who now live in Durham and Charlotte.  In case you have not been following the news, there are a lot of people who are angry and getting arrested in North Carolina this summer as the Republican legislature rolls back the state to pre-Jim Crow and Pre-Roe v. Wade times.  Some of the lowlights: 

• There is now NO MORE EARLY VOTING, 
• College students must now vote OFF CAMPUS
• Students may no longer have residency in order to vote (even though Supreme Court upheld student right to vote in 1979)
• GOVERNMENT ID required; however NO COLLEGE ID's ACCEPTED (even state colleges!)
• Polling places are being consolidated.  One case at Appalachian State: 9,300 students will have to drive to a polling place with 35 PARKING SPOTS when the recommended maximum number for a polling place is... wait for it... 1,500 -- THAT'S MORE THAN SIX TIMES THE RECOMMENDED MAXIMUM!  

As a person who went to college in North Carolina, I say shame, Shame, SHAME!!!  It's back to JIm Crow ever since the Supreme Court overturned the Voting Rights Act of 1965.  Will the people rise up?  Who will stop them?