All-Or-Nothing Marriage And Inequality

Emily and I lighting the unity candle at our wedding.
(The two candles behind us represent are deceased maternal grandfathers, George and Roy, while the two candles in front of us represent our families of origin.)

I just finished reading an excellent piece in the NYT on the current overall state of marriage.  I'm also currently trying to finish this post as my wife would like me to get off the computer and spend time with her!

The quick takeaways for me are:

• Marriage has changed: we expect more out of the marriage and our mates than previous generations

• Marriage takes time: those able to spend more time on their marriage get more out of it, those who spend less get less enjoyment or end up divorced

• Marriage is unequal: those with more resources (i.e. rich) are more likely to stay together than those with less resources (i.e. poor).  

The resulting inequality marriage success rates reflect the broader inequality in our society.  The rich get richer (and stay married) while the poor get poorer (and get divorced).

What ways can we better support our marriages?  How can our livelihoods (i.e. jobs) support our spouses?  Will companies recognize that a healthy marriage makes for better (i.e. more productive) employees?

Marriage is hard work.  It is not all that is cracked up to be.  And yet don't those who choose to get married be given every opportunity and support to succeed?

I think so.